I spent the last few days retreating. I've never used the world in that way. Usually I would have said I was going on a retreat but as a mama of two little kids, it felt more appropriate to say what it is: retreating! From the mundane tasks that demand so much time (no dishes for two days?! no food prep? Or laundry?) At first it was almost unnerving to not be constantly moving (prepping the next meal, starting another load of clothes). Each morning it struck me as both so strange and so wonderful that I could just lay in bed awake for a bit and not be jolted awake and have the day start with a bang (or a fight :)) It's been a year since I left the kids (for Allie's wedding! Happy Anniversary to Allie and Jon!) and it was time.
I was inspired by the many women that I spoke to -- many stories were told and we spent a great deal of time praying for one another -- encouraging each other in prayer and scripture and crying together. Believing that redemption is possible There is something so freeing about doing life with others. It is hard, no doubt. We will, inevitably, make things messy. We are people. But the messes and the pain are worth the risk that we take when we enter into community.
If I could pick one goal for my children's lives it would be that they would be people that LOVE DEEPLY. That their lives would be marked by a deep deep love -- for God, for others, for service, for their future families, for one another. But love requires vulnerability -- something that our culture avoids at all costs. We know more about the characters on our TV shows than we do about our neighbors. But yet we all long to be known. How do I cultivate a love for relationship and for others in Luke and Amelia? Right now, by prayer. And by teaching them to play well in the sandbox with others :) As they age I can only imagine it will become significantly more complicated. But I do know that children (for better or worse) imitate the behavior they see. If we, as parents, are able to confess when we make mistakes, able to accept forgiveness, able to love others even even when it's hard ... that is what they will emulate. Oh parenting, never stops humbling me.
My two days of rest are done but we ended the weekend with such a joyful outing -- picking many pounds of strawberries. I was more than ready to see Scott and the kids and my sweet husband had the van packed, kids ready to go (harder than it sounds, trust me, getting out the door still remains a challenge) so that we could enjoy some family time today. Feeling thankful tonight for a chance to step back and look at my life/goals/fears in order to move forward. Thankful for the transparency and beauty of the women I spent the weekend with. Thankful for a God that values relationship above all else. Thankful for two super excited kids to greet me when I got home and for a husband that made this weekend possible for me! (Should mention though that it was a group effort since it was Scott's work weekend! My poor dad came over at 430 AM so Scott could get off to work. And Maryanne entertained the kids for a good chunk of the day!)
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| Beautiful hike with 40 ladies! |
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| Wow! |
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| We love our berries! |
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| Didn't know where to get started! |
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