... And then they were FIVE!!!

Luke and Amelia turned FIVE today and my heart can hardly believe it.  Five feels big.  They will be starting kindergarten this year.  They just starting swimming on their own.  They are right on the verge of reading.  They feel like big kids.  They are so capable and feel so old and I just love being their mama.  Most days at least :)

We had donuts with candles in them for breakfast.  My parents stopped by on their way to work to sing to the kids.  We spent the morning at various appointments and errands but then got to spend the whole afternoon on a "family hike" at Mt. Tabor.  It was lovely.  There are so many things I want to write down to make sure I don't forget about this phase ...

Amelia ... There are so many things I want to remember about you right now!  You are such an energetic kid.  You love playing chase and tag and anything physical.  You are FAST.  Like crazy fast. If you decide to be an athlete, you will be incredible.  You are coordinated and determined and tough.

Your favorite time at school is gym time!  You love art.  Your eye for color and patterns is amazing. You help me see the world in a whole new way: through your lens.  I notice things I never would have seen because I get to be your mama.  I was missing so much!  Thank you.

Your brother and your cousin Caroline are the people you enjoying playing with the most.  You and I are getting ready to go on a  "girl trip" to Idaho to meet Emmy Grace and you are so excited that you already have your bag packed even though we don't leave for a week.  You love anything sweet (chocolate especially).  Your favorite books are the "Elephant and Piggie" books, "Clifford" and "Bernstein Bears."  You love "Frozen" and pretty much any show that we will let you watch :)  You love pink.  You will always choose to wear the pink clothes if you're given the choice.   You are my amazing sleeper.  You sleep 11-12 straight hours every.single.night.  That is a gift to us and we are thankful!  You told me today that when you grow up you want to have twins too ... "Mama, I want to have a girl baby and a boy baby in my tummy at the same time too!  The girl will be named Ribbon and the boy will be Superman!"  Your dad and I got a good laugh from that one.  Dad says those babies will fit right in in Portland with names like that!

Luke ... You are one of the most thoughtful people I have ever known.  I don't know many just-turned-five-year-olds who ask their moms things, "Mom, how did you sleep last night? Did you sleep good?  Did you have any good dreams?" ...  You are inquisitive and ask incredible questions and show concern for people in ways that are well beyond your years.  You love deeply and I learn so much from watching you.  You understand life through words and through story.  You can repeat stories with incredible memory and want to be told stories all the time.  You love books and words and I'm so curious to see what you will do with that during your lifetime.  You love super heros and Star Wars.  You love to swim.  You.are.always.hungry.  I bake because of you :)  In a good way!  You often come out of your room in the morning and after quiet time and say ... "Ummm, mama.  Do we have any muffins or cookies or anything else yummy?"  You are an amazingly good eater.  I can't think of a single food you won't eat.  You are my early-to-bed-early-to-rise kiddo.  You're usually asking to go to bed by 6pm and then up very early.  I fought this for years ("You WILL be on the same schedule as your sister!") but have come to enjoy my morning Lukey snuggles.  You told me this morning "Mom, I know you and sissy are night owls but me and daddy, we're just morning people!"  Ha!  I don't know who told you that but it's very true. 

Luke and Amelia ... You are loved beyond measure ... 

Christmas 2015! 

PJ and cocoa party at preschool

Love these Christmas babies!  Eden and Evelyn :)

Christmas Day!

Zoo lights!

Emmy Grace Katherine Hally :)

Amma with grandbaby #6

Snow day!!!  Girlfriends get crazy!

Dang these babies love snow :)

Hold on tight!

Only in Portland do we get so excited about a few inches of snow!

Birthday buddies! ... The big five year olds!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving feels like as appropriate of a time as ever to do some blog posting and photo updating.  My family is all soundly sleeping after "the feast day" (which is how Amelia is referring to Thanksgiving. That girl.  Love her so.) and I'm taking advantage of a quiet moment to do some writing and sorting through pictures.  I am  well aware that I have more gifts than I could ever deserve and am constantly reminding myself to hold them with open hands.  This season of our lives and our marriage and our family is such a sweet one.  There have been hard seasons and there will be more to come, but this season makes my heart want to burst with fullness and gratitude.  The seasons of sorrow and heartache that we walk through stretch our souls to make us that much more aware and thankful for the seasons of joy.  And, as is usually the case, most times of our lives are mixed bags with more emotions than we could ever name, all circulating through our hearts fluidly.  Five years ago on Thanksgiving I lay in a hospital bed and hit 26 weeks of pregnancy.  We were weary and we were scared and we knew that our children were balancing on the very thin line that separates life and death.  There was absolutely nothing more we could do to help them.  So we waited.  And we prayed.  And we let ourselves be carried by the people that love us.  We walked away from those months as people who are more aware.  More human.  More broken.  This time of year holds so many triggers for my heart.  Memories of anxiety and fear and hope remind me that we are sustained from one breath to the next by God and that His grace is sufficient.  That does not mean that we are guaranteed good outcomes: we aren't.  It does mean that He will meet us in our need and that we will never be alone.  In times of  sweetness and times of deep pain we must live moment to moment, breath by breath, one foot in front of the other.   Praying tonight that a heart of contentment and thankfulness will shape the lens through which I view the world.  May I choose to remember all that I have been blessed with, holding it openly and with a thankful and aware heart.  

I so enjoying taking pictures of the people I love because it captures and freezes moments in time that I am thankful for.  Here are a few of many moments this fall that I want to remember ...

Sister cousins!  

Some version of this pile occurs hourly when the cousins are together :)

Happy 30th Birthday, sister!  You are so loved! 

Some of my very favorite people.

The last time Amelia was with GG Ruth before she passed away.
So glad Scott's cousin, Kristy, captured this moment.

Hope she's old enough to remember this.

My babies who aren't such babies.

Friends that become like family.

My guys.

Enough said :)

Every family needs candy corn costumes, right?  And our
kids are SO not in the mood for a photo shoot, can you tell? :)

Winnie and Rapunzel

My sweet storm trooper!

School field trip.  It's so bittersweet that the preschool phase is
coming to an end.  Soaking it up this year.

Twin painting!

When painting the sidewalk becomes painting your twin! ... These two and their antics!  

Catch up!

I mean to post pictures and memories so that I will remember little details of these sweet days when the kids are older ... I really do mean to!  But when one of your children is up at 6am every day and the other stays up until 9 every evening ... and they don't nap anymore ... the time that I'm alone is very very small which means that certain things just don't happen very often anymore!  Blogging being one of them!  And that's okay.  It's so hard to live presently and undistracted and I don't always (or often really) do it very well.
We have had a really sweet summer.  Although Luke crawled in bed with me this morning and said, "Mom, is today a school day?"  Me: "No sweetie, it's still summer."  Luke: "But MOM, I've been waiting FOREVER for school to be here again!"  Ha!  I guess the kid likes preschool :)  We do miss the rhythm and routine and community that preschool provides but it's been fun to have some freedom to do other activities and to have some good and needed downtime.  They need it as kids and we need it as parents.  I love waking up to days with no plans and getting to decide together what we will do with the day.  Those days don't happen often enough, but when they do, I feel so much freedom!  So I've been working hard to create space in our lives.  To live with margins.  To not be overbooked as a family.  To not get lost in our activities and to-do lists.   To live more fully present. ... Here is the catch up of our photos!

Last day of preschool!

Oh yeah!

"Our family" by Amelia

Elk lake!

Lake day!

Happy birthday to Papa!

Girls weekend with Gretch and Michelle :)

Cousins!

Happy Father's Day to Scott!

Happy Father's Day to Papa!

Play date with Eden!

We love Kylee!

My handsome boys at the beach :)

Love making memories with the Milne family!

In her element!

Oaks Park!

Fun for the teenager and the preschooler -- win win!

Not sure if the mamas or the kids had more fun!

Strong women!

"Strong women:  May we know them.  May we raise them.  May be be them."

These are the days ...

Don't get me wrong, there are always challenging parts of parenting ... but really, these.are.the.days.  Love how much life and joy these two bring to our lives.  We are grateful!

Happy Mother's Day!  What a gift to be called "mama" by these two.

Preschool buddies.  So blessed by this group of kids and families.

Hiking season has begun!

Cutest photo bomber ever :)

Superman and his friends!

These two.

Parade watching with Martha!