4 months old ... and Happy Mother's Day!

"The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed,
but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new."  -Rajneesh

Happy four months to Luke and Amelia!  It's been such a joy to watch them grow over these last months.  They had their four month check-up this week.  Luke is 14 pounds even and Amelia is 11lbs, 14 oz.  The only concern is that both babes still have mild heart murmurs.  Their pediatrician had hoped they'd outgrow them by now but they haven't.  So both babes had chest x-rays and EKGs done.  We'll meet with cardiology to decide if they need echos as well.  Almost certainly they will outgrow the murmurs with a little more time but I'm glad that their doctor is looking into it.  We have been so thankful to have amazing doctors throughout this whole crazy experience.  By our OB, perinatologists, neonatologists and pediatrician we have felt listened to and taken care of ... what a difference that makes in the midst of difficult and scary situations.
I feel like we're starting to turn the corner on the sleep-deprivation.  My Mother's Day gift from Scott was EIGHT straight hours of sleep! ... the last time that happened was in November before we were admitted to the hospital.  Thank you to my thoughtful husband ... that was the best gift you could have given me!  This week both babies have started to sleep 3-5 hours at a time at night and the best part is that they're doing it at the same time.  We're getting there!
Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  This year it is an overwhelmingly sweet day for our family.  Scott and I have both been so very thankful for our moms this year.  I'm not sure what we would have done without them!  My sister is 39 weeks pregnant and hoping to go into labor at any moment (the sooner the better if you ask her!)  And Luke and Amelia have changed my life.  But as wonderful as this day is, it also feels very bittersweet.  During the years that we were living with infertility, this was a very hard day for me ... a painful reminder.   I have too many women in my life that would love very much to get to be mothers.  Their unfulfilled dreams make my heart heavy.  I think of them this weekend with so much love and so much hope.